How do I get to False Key?

Young dude rolls into an old-fashioned gas station. Puts down his window. A gray haired attendant, bare-chested under denim overalls, shuffles toward the car.

OLD DUDE: Fill 'er up?

YOUNG DUDE: Sure. How do I get to False Key?

OLD: Pop your gas cap. No such place.

YOUNG: Guy in Homestead said somewhere south. GPS can't find it.

OLD: (inserts nozzle) Whacha think you're gonna find there?

YOUNG: (shifts uncomfortably, glares) What's it to you?

OLD: Keep your fins on, sonny. 'Bout a mile past the Dairy Queen, take a right at the pearl statue. Over the bridge, if it ain't high tide.

YOUNG: Statue of a pearl?

OLD: Sign says Mermaid Key.

YOUNG: Why'd they change it?

OLD: (pulls out, shrugs) Check your oil?

YOUNG: Nah. Thanks for the directions.

OLD: (shakes his head) Don't thank me yet.